Head coach Joe Davis (center) and his Western Illinois football athletes have enhanced team bonding through weekly “family dinners.” (Photo by GoLeathernecks.com)
By Barry Bottino
On Sundays at the Davis family household in metro Detroit, dinner as a non-negotiable event.
“It became sacred to my mom,” said Joe Davis, the third-year Western Illinois head coach, “to the extent that my dad installed a huge iron dinner bell on the back of our house.”
When the bell rang, Davis, his brother and his sister had to return home from wherever they were playing in the neighborhood. It was time for dinner.
“Around that dinner table, we laughed, we cried … we fought,” Davis said with a laugh. “But we connected. It brought our family very close together.”
When Davis took over at WIU in December 2023, he wanted family dinners to become part of his football program.
In coaching, according to Davis, a veteran of eight different stops as an assistant, bringing players together consistently in “a setting that is pressure free” can be a major challenge.
“Everybody talks about family. Everybody talks about relationships,” he said. “I’ve felt like we have lacked the intentionality.”
Dinner is served
Each week – either Wednesday or Thursday evening – Western players enjoy a catered meal with one rule. No cell phones are allowed.
“The first couple of dinners were pretty quiet,” Davis said. “Now, it’s ruckus.”
Players eat, talk, laugh, joke and build bonds. The team’s highest academic performers dine first, according to Davis.
Quarterback Kennedy McGill, a transfer who hails from Washington state, arrived on campus in January as “a new guy, from far away.”
He found plenty of players from different parts of the country and started conversing.
“I get to know my teammates a little bit better,” McGill said. “Everyone has people they hang out with most of the time and their groups. The dinners allow us to branch off and get to know all of our teammates.”
For freshman wide receiver Xavier Coleman, and players in his class, being away from home for the first time might be intimidating.
“Coming into a new place without your parents, without people you hang around can be a little uncomfortable,” said Coleman, who played prep football at Providence Catholic in suburban New Lenox. “But you find ways to make new friends. The majority of the time, I find myself in a different spot every week.”
Older players, such as fifth-year long snapper Ben Bergfeld from Davenport, Iowa – about 90 minutes from campus – prioritize introducing themselves to young players and new teammates alike and offering support.
“I make it a point to include them in things,” he said. “I want to make them feel welcome.”
Davis added that he wants young players and transfers to understand that they “have a family in this football program and a space they can go to consistently that’s safe and welcoming and connected.”
Family dinners also are part of the WIU football staff’s conversations with potential future players and their families during recruiting.
From conversation to friendship
During one family dinner, Bergfeld sat with James Durand, an offensive lineman from Arizona who transferred to WIU from FBS Wisconsin after the 2024 season.
“A conversation just sparked up,” Bergfeld said. “Now he’s one of my best friends in the world. That relationship came out of a random conversation that probably wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for a dinner.”
Bergfeld also has been chosen as one of three to four players each week to present slides and photos about themselves and their lives.
“We have players show why you came to Western, what you want to accomplish while you’re here and who are the most influential people in your life,” Davis said.
Bergfeld shared the importance of faith in his life and how grateful he is for his parents. “They’ve sacrificed so much to get me here,” he said.
McGill discussed family – including his parents, siblings and his girlfriend — in addition to goals for the season and “why I play the game. It was a way to introduce myself to the team. It’s a great thing.”
The slides had plenty of impact for Bergfeld.
Before his presentation, “there were probably five guys on the team that knew those things about me,” he said. “That number went from five to 90-plus in a day.”
The slide presentations also ignite the ability to start new connections.
“With Western, it seemed a lot easier because a lot of us share the same experiences,” Coleman said.
From connection to competition
The conversations at family dinners have sparked plenty of connections, friendships and support.
But what do they mean when the Leathernecks take the field on Saturdays?
“You play harder and you’re more motivated to play well if you care about the people around you,” Bergfeld said. “As we have done more dinners, it’s become more ingrained in our culture. I’ve seen a lot more fight in close games.
“ I think the relationships built in those dinners is a big part of that.”
McGill agreed.
“When you truly care for the people alongside you, it makes it that much easier to play hard for them,” he said. “It makes the games so much more fun.”
What’s on the menu?
The dinners are obviously about much more than food.
But bringing a full roster of hungry college athletes together means plenty of calories will be devoured.
Bergfeld has a clear favorite. “When we get barbecue,” he said. “We have pulled pork and chicken. I’m a big fan of the barbecue nights.”
McGill isn’t picky. “I love all food,” he said. His most memorable meal was a steak night.
For Davis, No. 1 is clear cut.
“I like the Chinese buffet,” he said. “Egg rolls, fried rice, noodles, chicken, beef, all the veggies. That’s my favorite.”
Barry Bottino is a co-founder of Prairie State Pigskin and a 19-year veteran of three Illinois newspapers. He has covered college athletics since 1995.
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